blessings all around

I'm pregnant! I still cant believe it. My husband Aaron and I have been trying to get pregnant for exactly one year. Through out that year there were tears, doubts, and sadness. I prayed so much about getting pregnant and almost thought it was useless in the end. Until I got fed up with waiting any longer I gave it to God and prayed fiercely in the last month that I would be pregnant. I believed that God was going to make me pregnant for my birthday, and he did. I found out on May 25Th my birthday, and Memorial day that we were expecting a baby. Now that's a great birthday gift! God is awesome! God has also blessed me with a new job at a salon. I have been working as a Certified nurses assistant for 7+ years and I had gone to school to be a cosmetologist in that time. I Finlay steeped out in faith that God was going to provide me with a great opportunity and he did. I ask that you would pray for a healthy pregnancy and baby and that God provides for us in my new job. GOD IS GOOD!

Living for God…?

I have been really realizing a lot about myself lately. I have such a hard time always connecting with God. I always have even when I first became a Christian. I am beginning to see that I am not really sure if I am where God wants me to be. Actually I know I’m not where God wants me to be. I’m afraid! I know it’s all about having faith and letting God take over but I don’t want to let go. I know that is the next step in maturing my relationship with God. I love to be comfortable and I feel if I stay where I am I won’t get hurt or lost and confused. I am in a bubble and I don’t want to pop it and step out in faith. I feel like my feet are supper glued to the floor and I can’t move forward. God has a plan for me and I know that but I am scared. I have realized I am becoming a hermit in my own home when it comes to going to church or any function having to do with church. I am hiding something and I don’t even know what it is. Could it be the fact that I am rebellious to God? Even when I read the bible or a book like THE SHACK I feel as I read my mind is just blank. I don’t even know what I read and I don’t get anything out of it. Why can’t I concentrate get something out of it and live it!? Why am I having a hard time being the person that God wants me to be? I want to live for God not for me. Why is it so hard???

I am a Aunt again! For the 4th time :) little baby Ethan Mikel Ladwig was born March 11th at 10:30pm. He was 7lb 2oz. 19 inch long. The mother of this adorable baby is my sister-in-law, my husbands sister. Her name is Melissa and her husbands name is Elliot. They make a beautiful family! I am so excited to get to know this little guy!!!

Fearing God

As I sit and read my devotional I am pondering about my day and how I reacted to certain things. Did I do anything that was displeasing to God? Did I say anything he would not be happy about? Did i treat anyone in a way that God would frown upon? As I ponder I have realized that I didn't even think about God once though out my day. This I realize is so normal for me to do. I get so busy through out my day that I don't even take the time to realize that God is right beside me in every move I make and every work I speak. I always get down on myself about this. WHY? Why didn't I pay attention to the things God was saying to me through out my day? Did I miss something important that he had for me?? I feel I am the only person who does this. I need to start fearing the Lord!

I never really understood when People would say fear the Lord. I always thought to myself why would you want to fear the Lord when he wants you to trust him? He loves me why would he want me to fear him? Yesterday while reading the bible I came across a verse where they were talking about fearing the Lord. Now I understand!!! It seems like Something so easy yet it took me years to fully understand this. It was just one of those things that flew over my head. This was the verse I read and helped me understand. Exodus 20:20 "Don't be afraid." Moses answered them, "for God has come in this way to test you, and so that your fear of him will keep you from sinning!" SO AWESOME! why the heck didn't I see this before? I have realized I over look things sometimes LOL something i really need to work on. Thank you Lord for not giving up on me with this understanding. I'm excited to intertwine this into my walk with you :)

Being aware in difficult times.

EXODUS 5:22-23
Then Moses went back to the Lord and protested, “Why have you brought all this trouble on your own people, Lord? Why did you send me? 23 Ever since I came to Pharaoh as your spokesman, he has been even more brutal to your people. And you have done nothing to rescue them!”

All I have to say is WOW!
When I read this scripture God really opened my eyes to something. When I go through rough times I often go to God asking why? Why? Would something like this happen? Reading this scripture I realized that when I am going though a rough time and I rely on God to help me through it, I usually try to do things myself because Either I don’t understand what God is doing or I get afraid that things will not go my way. I have realized things usually don’t go the way I have planed. God has a bigger and better plan. When things look like they are not going to get any better or are just getting worse I should not get frustrated or annoyed, and try to do it myself. Instead I should look to see what God is really doing in the situations. I will be the first to admit it I am one of those people who gets annoyed and frustrated and just wants things to go smoothly without rocks being thrown at me. I have to pay more attention and see how God is working in my life or in someone else’s lives as well depending on the situation. Why would I want anything different than that to happen? I need to be more aware of what God is tying to teach me through difficult times. Why get all upset over nothing? In the end it’s all going to be ok. Everything always works out. I wish God would just slap me across the face sometimes and tell me to pay attention.

EXODUS 6:1
Then the Lord told Moses, “Now you will see what I will do to pharaoh. When he feels the force of my strong hand, he will let the people go. In fact, he will force them to leave his land!”

God had a plan that Moses didn’t understand. God wanted himself known to the Egyptians and this was the only way to get it across to them. Moses did not understand but God said he would see what would happen to pharaoh. Trusting in him and being aware of everything he has for us is so amazing! It helps us grow to be more mature in him and blesses us.
So, why must we question God so much? Why can’t we just trust him? Why is it so hard? God’s plan is what I want even if it hurts!!!

OK, so we decided that we were going to get two dogs now ;) I fell in love with the two right away! I think I am going to name the one on the right Romeo and we don’t really know about the one on the left yet. I told my husband he could name this one. He likes the names Chancho, and Paco (little in Spanish.) He is undecided. I am very excited to get theses little guys home! My mom decided to get 2 dogs as well. That is going to give us 6 dogs total between both houses. I know it’s crazy but it’s going to be a lot of fun! The bottom pic is of our dog we have now. She will be 2 in May. Her name is Bailey and she is a German Short Haired pointer. She is our baby.

Winter wonderland

Our Trip to Door County Wisconsin was so beautiful! we had a great time and did allot of site seeing. snow, snow, and more snow oh yea cant forget there was ice too. :)

Our new pup!

This is our new pup. It is a male Chihuahua. It is only 20 days old today. It is only as big as my husbands hands.I have wanted a lap dog for 2 yrs now. My husband finally said OK! We still have not picked out a name. Have any suggestions? My Mom got a little pup too! I can’t believe it! I am very excited to get this little guy home to join our family! We have to wait about another 6 weeks before we can bring him home because he is still very small and to young to leave his mother. He is so adorable!!!

Many Blessings

I have been waiting to write because I was having a hard time finding words to express myself. Right now where I am with the Lord is so amazing. He is showing me so many things I have never seen before. Why did he wait so long to show them to me? I have realized it was not him who was waiting. He couldn't wait to show me but, it was me who wanted it but was pushing it away at the same time. I was afraid of change and where he might bring me. Now I know where I am is best. Why did I wait so long??
For the last 7 months I have been wanting a child. Having a child is one of the most wonderful blessings anyone could ever experience. There have been tears and sadness but in this time God has showed me so much about him and about myself.

In waiting to be a mother I had found that my sister-in-law had become pregnant and she had just gotten engaged 3 weeks before when she had found out. It broke my heart. Al tho I was very happy for her I was mad at God. Why would he do such a thing to me? I didn't understand. I have seen all around me people getting pregnant that are not even married, people who don't even want children. Here I am trying my darnedest to have a child, but nothing has happened. Little did I know that God had something else in store for me :)

Usually when I am going through a problem I back away from God and I shut down. I try to do it on my own. Getting pregnant is not something that I can actually do. I can help it along but it is only going to happen when it is Gods timing. That is so hard for me. I know that I need to trust in him because it is all about his timing. I wouldn't want anything out of his timing because his timing is perfect. There have been times where I was mad at God for not making me a mother.

Wanting to have a child has brought me closer to God in so many ways. It's funny to say but what a blessing it has been these last 7 months to have spent time with God and having him answer so many prayers and questions that i have had. I know that when I do become pregnant it is going to be in God's timing and it is going to be great. I think for the last 2 years God has really been preparing me to have children but these last 7 months he has really been showing me allot.

God has also showed me that If I want to trust in him it's not just going to happen automatically I have to actually do it willingly no matter what happens, no shutting down and trying to do it myself because that is going to get me nowhere. In the long run I know God is going to bless me and make me a mature Christan. I am just in awe how God is using this time to help me grow in him. I have been surrounding myself with the Lord and reading his word. I am realizing even in church I understand things allot more and I want to learn his word. I long for Knowledge of God.

Thank you Lord for your amazing timing and showing me so many great things about you, and helping me grow and see things about myself that I need to work on. I'm so excited for more from You and all You have for me. I'm excited to further my relationship with You. The deeper and deeper I go the more amazing You are to me.

Thank you LORD!

The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?
~Proverbs 20:24